It’s been a new year for exactly 2 weeks today or 14 days however you prefer to look at it. I’ve been so on the go lately I’ve neglected this blog and I’m sorry for those who read it regularly.
Since the last time I wrote back in November my life has taken a whole 180. Christopher Galli is out of my life completely, I don’t care to get into details as to what happened but after hearing what his father said I know have come to the understanding that our whole relationship was a lie and I pray for him every night because there is just something not right. He is in Arizona now with another girl and I just hope he is doing well. I now can hold my head up high and proudly say I am OVER him, thank you God.
It took one last suicide attempt to come to realization that I was over him, though. A few days before Christmas I had drank a good amount of alcohol to wash down 20 Vicodins and a bottle of Prozac and in all my drunkenness I had called my best friend Brooke who freaked out and came over to my house and proceeded to rush me to the hospital. I was pissed at her at the time but now am so thankful she did so because I would be dead right now if it wasn’t for her. I was put in a Behavior Health Unit for 48hours after my ER visit what a hell place that was…
I had been keeping it a secret from everyone but I started on my vicodin binging again weeks prior to the suicide attempt and I started drinking hard alcohol every night till I blacked out so I didn’t have to feel the pain of life that I was feeling. Life spiraled downward at such a fast pace when I look back now it is a scary thing to see. All my skeletons were forced out of my closet after that hospital stay. 3rd attempted in 2 months, my parents were fed up with my behavior and were not going to take it any longer; in all honesty I don’t blame them. I was left with no choice but Rehab. After talking things out and my parents making a contract with me for my safety we decided as a family to do Intense Out Patient Treatment with The Camp in Scotts Valley, CA.
I am now in my 2nd week of The Camp and it has been a rough two weeks but it is something I have to do for my family but most importantly for myself… I have been attending AA and NA meetings regularly. IOP (intense outpatient treatment) groups meet Monday, Tuesday and Thursday’s 6:00-9:00pm seems like a lot but it really is “FUN” is you can believe it. I have met some really great people already, who are there to help and support me, that’s what I really needed. By no means am I cured at all, I sit here now at work looking into the pharmacy fantasizing about Vicodin or I go home just wishing I could have a drink, just one.
As far as Gastric bypass goes and my eating disorder I have been really well; eating regularly, taking my vitamins, exercise is lacking but it’s still there at least once a week. I feel like I can just eat like a normal person now, I have been eating what I want without a 2nd thought… Well maybe a 2nd though but not enough to make me put it down and I really haven’t gained anything, I’ve been maintaining which is what everyone wanted all along. Why am I the last to figure it out?
Now two weeks into 2009, I am the happiest I have been in months. I’m enjoying life, getting myself help and it feels good to walk with my head held high and not care what others think. I’m done obsessing about the rumors that have gone around town about me and are still going around. I know they are not true and who ever is doing the lying and what now it will come back. Karma’s a bitch.
January 14, 2009
November 06, 2008
I'm Not a Failure
My goodbyes were said, the bags were packed, and although mentally I was fragile I was ready to go. So 4:00 in the morning came along; Mom and I were in the car starting our 7 hour journey to Whittier, CA. My mind was set in the future, trying to imagine myself in a treatment center and I could picture what I thought it would look like but I could not see myself there as much as I tried, but I ignored those feelings. Mom and I were having fun, we both enjoy road trips. We were talking, signing, laughing, etc. Just being in a fragile state of mind I would think a thought and just start crying. I was scared and very overwhelmed...STILL overwhelmed. The tears would just come and go, whether I liked it or not.
When we on the road the Treatment center was on, I was more nervous and scared than ever. I seriously could have thrown up if I had food in my stomach at the time. After arriving it was like they just swept me away when all I wanted to do was spend as many of those last seconds as I could with my mom. They first took me to get height and weight, got me naked to check for "marks they should make notes of" (do I look like a cutter?). Then a dietition took me into her office where she went through a serious of questions with me. Had the nerve to question my answers "Are you just telling me what i want to hear?" and telling me how if with gastric bypass I can handle the sugar in a banana i'd have no problem with a Boost drink. Ms. know it all seem to have forgotten that there is a difference between sugar sugar and fruit sugars. Maybe not for all but for my body it knows the difference!
The place was beautiful, my room was so cute. There was two bed but I was going to be the only one in the room at the time and I dont know if it worked or not but it had a fireplace. The kitchen was so HUGE and modern style it was amazing, wish my kitchen at home looked like that! As my mom and I were being given a tour I was taking notice that wow these other patients (or clients as they called them) looked really, really young. When we, once again, got back to the waiting room we both were given lots of papers to sign. The whole time I felt so uneasy and the welcome packet with all their rules made the CCP look like a vacation. They had what they call "Phases" Pre-phase-Phrase 4. Each phase can last from 1-4 weeks, depending on your progress and they had almost a check list/to-do list before you got moved up. No Ipods until you got to phase 2, more privledges and less restriction as you moved up in the phases; made me look at it as a prison almost. You have to count outloud while in the bathroom, let nurses check toliet before flushing or running sink water. No bedroom time until bedtime. I know they have their rules for a reason, it's an eating disorder place. But come on do you really wanna check poop? Eewww!
Cherry on the sundae! Ready?! They had NOT even gotten insurance approval for my stay there! and at $1,100 a day I could NOT stay there out of pocket! We drove down to southern CA because we were told it was their center with the oldest crowd, so when I joined a program for young adults ages 19-25. Sorry for expecting others to be 19-25. So when I got there and found out that me being 19 I was going to be the oldest in the house? All other patients were 14-17. I was mad, hurt, I was lied to or miscommunication. They had acted like used car salesmen, leaving out a few "minor" details.
God didn't want me there. I feel if it was within his will he would have kept me there. It wasn't a waste of trip at all though, mom and I got some really good quality time. As L.G. said "Car time is good talk time". This doesn't mean I'm home and life goes on as if nothing happened. Sure, I'm home but I'm still sick. I'm eating and not restricting or even listening to Mia in my head. Gym is fun, not doing it compusively. I do understand, I have been down this road before, a year ago. Got put in the hospital, came home and was doing great until a year later. I'm going to look into out-patient treatment, establish myself with a person locally I can talk to, and continue to go to Recovery Ministry with the church.....
So, I am home. I was scared to tell people because I didn't want to be judged as a failure or weak. But no one has made me feel that way so far. Everyone around me is just being so positive, thank you!
Time to get ready for the day! take Care!
Love,
Kylie
When we on the road the Treatment center was on, I was more nervous and scared than ever. I seriously could have thrown up if I had food in my stomach at the time. After arriving it was like they just swept me away when all I wanted to do was spend as many of those last seconds as I could with my mom. They first took me to get height and weight, got me naked to check for "marks they should make notes of" (do I look like a cutter?). Then a dietition took me into her office where she went through a serious of questions with me. Had the nerve to question my answers "Are you just telling me what i want to hear?" and telling me how if with gastric bypass I can handle the sugar in a banana i'd have no problem with a Boost drink. Ms. know it all seem to have forgotten that there is a difference between sugar sugar and fruit sugars. Maybe not for all but for my body it knows the difference!
The place was beautiful, my room was so cute. There was two bed but I was going to be the only one in the room at the time and I dont know if it worked or not but it had a fireplace. The kitchen was so HUGE and modern style it was amazing, wish my kitchen at home looked like that! As my mom and I were being given a tour I was taking notice that wow these other patients (or clients as they called them) looked really, really young. When we, once again, got back to the waiting room we both were given lots of papers to sign. The whole time I felt so uneasy and the welcome packet with all their rules made the CCP look like a vacation. They had what they call "Phases" Pre-phase-Phrase 4. Each phase can last from 1-4 weeks, depending on your progress and they had almost a check list/to-do list before you got moved up. No Ipods until you got to phase 2, more privledges and less restriction as you moved up in the phases; made me look at it as a prison almost. You have to count outloud while in the bathroom, let nurses check toliet before flushing or running sink water. No bedroom time until bedtime. I know they have their rules for a reason, it's an eating disorder place. But come on do you really wanna check poop? Eewww!
Cherry on the sundae! Ready?! They had NOT even gotten insurance approval for my stay there! and at $1,100 a day I could NOT stay there out of pocket! We drove down to southern CA because we were told it was their center with the oldest crowd, so when I joined a program for young adults ages 19-25. Sorry for expecting others to be 19-25. So when I got there and found out that me being 19 I was going to be the oldest in the house? All other patients were 14-17. I was mad, hurt, I was lied to or miscommunication. They had acted like used car salesmen, leaving out a few "minor" details.
God didn't want me there. I feel if it was within his will he would have kept me there. It wasn't a waste of trip at all though, mom and I got some really good quality time. As L.G. said "Car time is good talk time". This doesn't mean I'm home and life goes on as if nothing happened. Sure, I'm home but I'm still sick. I'm eating and not restricting or even listening to Mia in my head. Gym is fun, not doing it compusively. I do understand, I have been down this road before, a year ago. Got put in the hospital, came home and was doing great until a year later. I'm going to look into out-patient treatment, establish myself with a person locally I can talk to, and continue to go to Recovery Ministry with the church.....
So, I am home. I was scared to tell people because I didn't want to be judged as a failure or weak. But no one has made me feel that way so far. Everyone around me is just being so positive, thank you!
Time to get ready for the day! take Care!
Love,
Kylie
November 03, 2008
Center For Discovery.
It has been almost a month since surgery and our break-up. Chris wants nothing to do with me and has asked that I leave him be. I tried all I could, I wasn't ready to let him go, I wasn't ready to do the friendship thing. I lost it, cried many tears, wasn't eating, hardly going to work; all I wanted was to be with him again, everything just happened so sudden and in such a fragile time when I needed the support from my significant other because of OUR decision I was abandoned.
I've come to realize that I was being stubborn and rebel against God's will. I prayed to God "give me give me give me". Now in prayer, I let God know my problems, how I'm feeling, that I love him, I pray for strength, courage and the well being of everyone around me even my enemies and then I just leave it up to God. For I need to live by his will not my own. Through all this pain, I have found my relationship with God again and it is such a great feeling to know that someone is always there with loving arms. I've re-committed myself to God and it has been the best thing I have ever done.
On 10/29 I was re-admitted to the CCP (Eating Disorder unit for Lucile Packard), because of all of life's stress this past month I had felt I lost all control. My eating however was one thing I found I could still control. I admit that I really was living off of coffee for almost a month, going to the gym everyday exercising like crazy. I had relapsed and started taking the narcotics again. Even though Chris had flushed all the pills I had at the time I was able to get more and started using again. I wasn't proud, I felt guilty hiding it from everyone, I felt like a failure. So many teenagers looking up to me, being told I was the poster child for Teen gastric bypass and here I was addicted to pain-killer, letting anorexia and bulimia take over me. What kind of role model am I?
I want help. My parents, doctors and I had already been in the process of looking into different Treatment centers (IE: Rehab) but no one knew it was still currently happening. So I spent 4 days in the CCP and came home on Sunday (Yes, i was in there again for another Halloween, oh lucky me!). I'm eating now, still emotionally so fragile, all I can do is just talk, talk, talk and talk to God. Keeping myself busy, staying focused on getting myself better.
I've come to realize that I was being stubborn and rebel against God's will. I prayed to God "give me give me give me". Now in prayer, I let God know my problems, how I'm feeling, that I love him, I pray for strength, courage and the well being of everyone around me even my enemies and then I just leave it up to God. For I need to live by his will not my own. Through all this pain, I have found my relationship with God again and it is such a great feeling to know that someone is always there with loving arms. I've re-committed myself to God and it has been the best thing I have ever done.
On 10/29 I was re-admitted to the CCP (Eating Disorder unit for Lucile Packard), because of all of life's stress this past month I had felt I lost all control. My eating however was one thing I found I could still control. I admit that I really was living off of coffee for almost a month, going to the gym everyday exercising like crazy. I had relapsed and started taking the narcotics again. Even though Chris had flushed all the pills I had at the time I was able to get more and started using again. I wasn't proud, I felt guilty hiding it from everyone, I felt like a failure. So many teenagers looking up to me, being told I was the poster child for Teen gastric bypass and here I was addicted to pain-killer, letting anorexia and bulimia take over me. What kind of role model am I?
I want help. My parents, doctors and I had already been in the process of looking into different Treatment centers (IE: Rehab) but no one knew it was still currently happening. So I spent 4 days in the CCP and came home on Sunday (Yes, i was in there again for another Halloween, oh lucky me!). I'm eating now, still emotionally so fragile, all I can do is just talk, talk, talk and talk to God. Keeping myself busy, staying focused on getting myself better.
October 13, 2008
Just When I Thought Things Were "PERFECT"
Oh my gosh, I can't believe the last time I wrote was back in June. If anyone still reads my blog I'm so so sorry!
So much has happened lately. I'm 100% recovered from my plastic surgeries, tummy looks great! the boobs are amazing! Really no complications other than pains lasting longer than I had expected.
I'm here and I am able to admit a lot that has happened. After my tummy tuck I was prescribed Norco a pain killer drug. Then again for my breast augmentation. By the time the pain was gone, I already loved the feeling the drugs were giving me, so I kept getting refills, months after surgery. I was in denial but I was defiantly addicted to them. I went as far as asking my best friend to fake a headache to get me more because I got to the point where one or two pills a day were not enough I was up to 7 or 8. I depended on them.
Back in September, Chris and I found out I was pregnant. Of course not expected and very shocked. We were both so scared, he especially was scared of his parents because his father told him early on if this had ever happened he would be disowned. "We cant keep it" was one of the first things I heard from him as he was shaking and almost in tears from fear. That night, I was devastated, I am against abortion and always have been unless it was in a case of rape. I tried to drink myself to death the night we found out. I was rushed to the hospital and had my stomach pumped with an alcohol level of 2.6!
I was thankful I didn't succeed. I wasn't thinking straight and can't even stand the sight of alcohol let alone the smell.... *puke* The following Monday I made an appointment to see an OB/GYN to confirm the pregnancy, she did an ultrasound and saw nothing, but my blood tests said otherwise. "come back in a week" so I did and still nothing yet my blood levels were going up as they should if you are pregnant. Since there were different abortion medications she could give me she wanted to know for sure before she gave me one or the other. So "come back in a week" is what I heard.
Nothing was available in a week and ended up having to come back in 2 weeks. She did another ultrasound and sure enough there was something clear in sight and it was too late for a pill. There was no other option other than surgery.
I thought to myself, no way. I can't do that, I just cant I refused. I tried so many times to convince Chris but he so set on his way, he told me it would not only hurt him but his whole family would devastated, his dreams of becoming a firefighter would be shot to hell and he told me he doesn't know if he could be there for me if I were to keep it. Me caring TOO much for others and not wanting to lose him; kept going with the plan to have surgery. Got a pre-op appointment, a surgery date. I was so scared and so sad I felt forced to do something I was against, but just prayed God would forgive me.
To make this story shorter... I had surgery and that same night Chris left me.. Not by choice his parents found out about so many lies he has told his father told him "that girl or your family" and if were to pick me he'd be disowned. So I was left. I feel so used, I feel so guilty for what I have done. I, in the end was left anyways when the one thing that kept me going through with surgery was so I WOULDN'T lose Chris. and I DID! I'm so mad, sad, everything emotion other than happy you can think of. Because of all the lies his parents felt he needed to end the relationship so he could focus on himself and find himself, find why the hell he has been lying. Basically he needs time to become a man because he's not, he fears his dad more than anything which was the root to his lying so he wouldn't get mad or disappointed in him and well that just back fired on him big time. Hurt me, himself and his family worse than anything truth would have if he has only been honest.
It's been a week since we've been apart and I'm still such a mess. I'm torn because we do still talk and I tried to tell him "we can be on a break while figure out what you have to do to better yourself" and he tells me hes in so condition to be in a relationship right now. So here I am, alone again, oh but he is still a friend :-/ I guess better than nothing?
This week I've just been praying like there is no tomorrow, trying with all my strength to stay positive and keep hope that things will work out in the end...
So that is where my life is at this point. A MESS!
Surgery wise and weight wise everything is just fine. Oh and as far as my narcotic addition, that is taken care of. My doctors are well aware of everything going on and are staying on top on me.
I will try to write more. I'm sorry for it being so so long!
So much has happened lately. I'm 100% recovered from my plastic surgeries, tummy looks great! the boobs are amazing! Really no complications other than pains lasting longer than I had expected.
I'm here and I am able to admit a lot that has happened. After my tummy tuck I was prescribed Norco a pain killer drug. Then again for my breast augmentation. By the time the pain was gone, I already loved the feeling the drugs were giving me, so I kept getting refills, months after surgery. I was in denial but I was defiantly addicted to them. I went as far as asking my best friend to fake a headache to get me more because I got to the point where one or two pills a day were not enough I was up to 7 or 8. I depended on them.
Back in September, Chris and I found out I was pregnant. Of course not expected and very shocked. We were both so scared, he especially was scared of his parents because his father told him early on if this had ever happened he would be disowned. "We cant keep it" was one of the first things I heard from him as he was shaking and almost in tears from fear. That night, I was devastated, I am against abortion and always have been unless it was in a case of rape. I tried to drink myself to death the night we found out. I was rushed to the hospital and had my stomach pumped with an alcohol level of 2.6!
I was thankful I didn't succeed. I wasn't thinking straight and can't even stand the sight of alcohol let alone the smell.... *puke* The following Monday I made an appointment to see an OB/GYN to confirm the pregnancy, she did an ultrasound and saw nothing, but my blood tests said otherwise. "come back in a week" so I did and still nothing yet my blood levels were going up as they should if you are pregnant. Since there were different abortion medications she could give me she wanted to know for sure before she gave me one or the other. So "come back in a week" is what I heard.
Nothing was available in a week and ended up having to come back in 2 weeks. She did another ultrasound and sure enough there was something clear in sight and it was too late for a pill. There was no other option other than surgery.
I thought to myself, no way. I can't do that, I just cant I refused. I tried so many times to convince Chris but he so set on his way, he told me it would not only hurt him but his whole family would devastated, his dreams of becoming a firefighter would be shot to hell and he told me he doesn't know if he could be there for me if I were to keep it. Me caring TOO much for others and not wanting to lose him; kept going with the plan to have surgery. Got a pre-op appointment, a surgery date. I was so scared and so sad I felt forced to do something I was against, but just prayed God would forgive me.
To make this story shorter... I had surgery and that same night Chris left me.. Not by choice his parents found out about so many lies he has told his father told him "that girl or your family" and if were to pick me he'd be disowned. So I was left. I feel so used, I feel so guilty for what I have done. I, in the end was left anyways when the one thing that kept me going through with surgery was so I WOULDN'T lose Chris. and I DID! I'm so mad, sad, everything emotion other than happy you can think of. Because of all the lies his parents felt he needed to end the relationship so he could focus on himself and find himself, find why the hell he has been lying. Basically he needs time to become a man because he's not, he fears his dad more than anything which was the root to his lying so he wouldn't get mad or disappointed in him and well that just back fired on him big time. Hurt me, himself and his family worse than anything truth would have if he has only been honest.
It's been a week since we've been apart and I'm still such a mess. I'm torn because we do still talk and I tried to tell him "we can be on a break while figure out what you have to do to better yourself" and he tells me hes in so condition to be in a relationship right now. So here I am, alone again, oh but he is still a friend :-/ I guess better than nothing?
This week I've just been praying like there is no tomorrow, trying with all my strength to stay positive and keep hope that things will work out in the end...
So that is where my life is at this point. A MESS!
Surgery wise and weight wise everything is just fine. Oh and as far as my narcotic addition, that is taken care of. My doctors are well aware of everything going on and are staying on top on me.
I will try to write more. I'm sorry for it being so so long!
June 25, 2008
Plastic Surgery *take two*
Kylie is under the knife once again today at 2:00 pm, this time it is for the breast lift and augmentation that had to be delayed due to money issues.
So I am super hungry and crazy thirsty right now, you know the *no eating or drinking past midnight* policy.
I am recovering really well from the Tummy tuck that was done May 19th. I got both of my drains removed finally, my pain is gone and all that is really happening is the suture line is very itchy and I have to still wear my binder. I wasn't aware of this a few weeks ago so I wasn't wearing it and I got fluid pockets which had to be drained...So I have been wearing it religiously since and yet I still got a fluid pocket that will probably get drained before surgery today. It's actually pretty funny its like your tummy is a water bed, feels creepy. So for those of you considering a tummy tuck... As uncomfortable and irritating as it will be, WEAR YOUR BINDER! WHY? When they cut the skin and pull it down, etc there is empty space between your abdominal wall and skin. The binder holds them together allowing them to reconnect and when you don't wear the binder there is nothing pushing them together and the body doesn't like empty spaces so it starts to fill it with fluids.
I am really excited about surgery today, boobies boobies boobies!! Finally, it's not fun and your self confidence takes a major beating when your 18 years old and have wrinkled shrivled up "boobs". Honestly, grandma has a better set of girls than I do right now..
It's so amazing to be going through this, I've it before and I'm saying it again. Final chapters of "FAT Kylie" are being closed.
I will try to write sometime this week... Before and after pictures will be posted.
Pray for me!
-Kylie
So I am super hungry and crazy thirsty right now, you know the *no eating or drinking past midnight* policy.
I am recovering really well from the Tummy tuck that was done May 19th. I got both of my drains removed finally, my pain is gone and all that is really happening is the suture line is very itchy and I have to still wear my binder. I wasn't aware of this a few weeks ago so I wasn't wearing it and I got fluid pockets which had to be drained...So I have been wearing it religiously since and yet I still got a fluid pocket that will probably get drained before surgery today. It's actually pretty funny its like your tummy is a water bed, feels creepy. So for those of you considering a tummy tuck... As uncomfortable and irritating as it will be, WEAR YOUR BINDER! WHY? When they cut the skin and pull it down, etc there is empty space between your abdominal wall and skin. The binder holds them together allowing them to reconnect and when you don't wear the binder there is nothing pushing them together and the body doesn't like empty spaces so it starts to fill it with fluids.
I am really excited about surgery today, boobies boobies boobies!! Finally, it's not fun and your self confidence takes a major beating when your 18 years old and have wrinkled shrivled up "boobs". Honestly, grandma has a better set of girls than I do right now..
It's so amazing to be going through this, I've it before and I'm saying it again. Final chapters of "FAT Kylie" are being closed.
I will try to write sometime this week... Before and after pictures will be posted.
Pray for me!
-Kylie
May 23, 2008
Nip and Tucked Part 1
It's been 4 days since my tummy tuck. Although everything is very swollen and bloated; my stomach is numb, muscles are out of order and I have JP drains sticking out of me, I must say I am SO happy. If this is how my stomach looks 4 days after surgery I can't wait to see what it will look like after a month or so. It's incredible I have never looked like this the emotions are overwhelming.
I feel like I'm finally breaking out of the cocoon and becoming the beautiful butterfly I've always dreamed of being.
It's hard to say goodbye to Israel but it's time for me to move on and live a happy, healthy life. I've cried too many tears and lost too many hours of sleep, with that said I am in a new relationship. The man I've mentioned before, Chris, who I was talking to while Israel was still around, who I wanted to be with so badly but his parents wouldn't allow it.
Well his parents don't know but are coming around slowly and we are together it's only been less than a week but we've been talking for 5months almost like we've been dating the whole time. I am soo in love and so happy. My parents adore him, he respects them and it's just so perfect.
He has helped me so much after surgery, draining my JP drains, keeping me on track with my medicines, helping me change my bandages, etc etc. I mean I've never been cared for by a man like that I love it and he WANTS to do it which makes it that much better. Again lots of changes and many more to come.
Pictures have been taken *before and recovery* but I don't want to post them until I take afters as well. Just be patient!
Going to go rest now, thank you for reading!
Love,
Kylie
I feel like I'm finally breaking out of the cocoon and becoming the beautiful butterfly I've always dreamed of being.
It's hard to say goodbye to Israel but it's time for me to move on and live a happy, healthy life. I've cried too many tears and lost too many hours of sleep, with that said I am in a new relationship. The man I've mentioned before, Chris, who I was talking to while Israel was still around, who I wanted to be with so badly but his parents wouldn't allow it.
Well his parents don't know but are coming around slowly and we are together it's only been less than a week but we've been talking for 5months almost like we've been dating the whole time. I am soo in love and so happy. My parents adore him, he respects them and it's just so perfect.
He has helped me so much after surgery, draining my JP drains, keeping me on track with my medicines, helping me change my bandages, etc etc. I mean I've never been cared for by a man like that I love it and he WANTS to do it which makes it that much better. Again lots of changes and many more to come.
Pictures have been taken *before and recovery* but I don't want to post them until I take afters as well. Just be patient!
Going to go rest now, thank you for reading!
Love,
Kylie
April 19, 2008
She's a Barbie Girl
Good New!!! Insurance company has approved me for the tummy tuck! No appeal or anything I feel very lucky about that! But I can't help thinking "wow guess I really was bad enough to be approved!" LOL. Boobies of course where not approved and were ruled out as cosmetic surgeries. Figured. 1 out 2 not bad.
So I had 2wks prior to May 19th to get $8,715 to the hospital. My loan is lagging and I couldn't get it to them in time. So now May19th is for a tummy tuck only. Disappointing? Defiantly! But looking on the bright side the tummy tuck was the most important, the procedure that is going to give me something I've always wanted and never had which is obviously a flat "normal" looking stomach. So many emotions surround this surgery I know to most people it sounds dumb but to other post-op maybe even pre-op gastric bypass patients its a dream come true. Getting this procedure done is a HUGE step to closing the chapter of obesity in my life.
As for the breast lift and augmentation because of the money issue I have a new surgery date for them and that is June 25th.
I can't wait I'm so excited about these surgeries as most women would be... It's giving me back something gastric bypass surgery took away and that was a larger chest.. No I'm not getting DD's to be just how I was before gastric bypass of course not! I'm getting size that will look natural yet still give me that womanly chest, give me that boost of confidence.. to feel sexy again... to feel like a woman again!
So many changes are happening in my life again, all at once. Funny how God does this huh? Things are slow, going day by day than BAM! Life gets flipped upside down! Crazyness! It has all been so positive though, I can truly say I'm so happy with life right now everything just feels so right.
It's 3:00AM I will of course write again before surgery.. And MANY MANY pictures will be taken of this journey. Befores, during *or at least in the hospital* and afters.
I thank everyone takes time out and reads this and of course the people that have been following this crazy journey! You don't understand how much it means to me!
THANK YOU!
So I had 2wks prior to May 19th to get $8,715 to the hospital. My loan is lagging and I couldn't get it to them in time. So now May19th is for a tummy tuck only. Disappointing? Defiantly! But looking on the bright side the tummy tuck was the most important, the procedure that is going to give me something I've always wanted and never had which is obviously a flat "normal" looking stomach. So many emotions surround this surgery I know to most people it sounds dumb but to other post-op maybe even pre-op gastric bypass patients its a dream come true. Getting this procedure done is a HUGE step to closing the chapter of obesity in my life.
As for the breast lift and augmentation because of the money issue I have a new surgery date for them and that is June 25th.
I can't wait I'm so excited about these surgeries as most women would be... It's giving me back something gastric bypass surgery took away and that was a larger chest.. No I'm not getting DD's to be just how I was before gastric bypass of course not! I'm getting size that will look natural yet still give me that womanly chest, give me that boost of confidence.. to feel sexy again... to feel like a woman again!
So many changes are happening in my life again, all at once. Funny how God does this huh? Things are slow, going day by day than BAM! Life gets flipped upside down! Crazyness! It has all been so positive though, I can truly say I'm so happy with life right now everything just feels so right.
It's 3:00AM I will of course write again before surgery.. And MANY MANY pictures will be taken of this journey. Befores, during *or at least in the hospital* and afters.
I thank everyone takes time out and reads this and of course the people that have been following this crazy journey! You don't understand how much it means to me!
THANK YOU!
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